The institution of marriage is a thorny issue. While some love the idea of the big fairy-tale wedding, others view the contract as historically based in misogynistic ideals of sexuality and ownership. Heavy stuff. One way around this is to subvert the ideal entirely, and marry yourself.
Laura Mesi, an Italian fitness trainer, has married herself complete with dress, cake and bridesmaids.
The ceremony is not legally binding, more of a symbolic gesture extolling self-love. The practice of self-marriage has been dubbed “sologamy”. Mesi is the first Italian woman to hold such a ceremony, according to her.
She told La Repubblica,”I told friends and family that if I had not found my soul-mate by my 40th birthday I would marry myself […] If one day I find a man with whom I can plan a future I’ll be happy, but my happiness does not depend on him.”
In keeping with the mantra of independent happiness Mesi had the words “sposa single” (single spouse) inscribed on a kickass watermelon.
Some criticise sologamy as being narcissistic. In the strictest sense that’s true, narcissism is a deriving pleasure from the self — but does that separate this wedding from traditional ones?
Brides Magazine puts the average cost of a UK wedding at £30,111. That’s a whopping thirty grand that doesn’t go into the marriage, but into the party announcing the marriage. Now fair enough if you want to say it’s a happy occasion that the married couple want to share with their nearest and dearest, but Mesi is doing exactly the same thing.
Besides, the reality of the wedding industrial complex is that a lot of it does come down to vanity — primarily aimed at women. The perfect dress, hair, and flowers are of course ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL (that’ll be a few thousand quid please).
So congrats to Laura on the ceremony, and especially on that awesome watermelon.